Manly?
by The-3-Sueslayers
Summary: One tragic day, Sheena tells Zelos that his hair is girly. Zelos, infatuated with her as he is, decides to cut it. Will he? Can he? Is it physically possible? By Sueslayer1. R&R please. OOC, mostly Kratos. Rated T just in case. They need a crackfic genre.


**_Manly?_**

Ok SueSlayer 1 Here! Sorry I havn't been posting much lately! So this is my new random crackfic! This fanfic came from when me and sueslayer 2 were talking about how Zelos's hair was so girly! (no offence to Zelos fans!) and btw Kratos is VERY OOC in this and I repeat VERY OOC! I hope you all enjoy it! Please R&R for comments and suggestions!

Note: I do not own Tales of Symphonia characters!!!

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A tragic day our perverted friend. 

"And that hair! How many times have I told you that it looks girly!" Sheena shouted.

"Sheena thinks my hair is girly!?" Zelos's eyes widened to the size of tires as he stared at absolutely nothing in shock.

All of a sudden dramatic music started playing in the backround. Zelos's hair floated gracefully and girlishly behind him as he took out a pair of scissors.

"Sorry my wonderful, perfect and manly hair. Sheena doesn't like me because of you! Goodbye!" Zelos said to his hair. He was crying as he said it, tears of girliness rolling down his face.

"HUH!? Is Armageddon coming or something? You, Zelos Wilder, are going to cut your hair?" Sheena asked, incredulous.

"You're going to stop me, Sheena, Hunnie?" Zelos said, happiness evident in his voice.

"Are you crazy! I want everyone to see this!" Sheena yelled at him. She then turned to shout at everyone, "hey, everyone! Come see this! Zelos is going to cut his hair off!"

"Betcha 10 gald he can't do it, Genis!" Lloyd said.

"Why are you betting me? I don't think he can do it either. Why don't we just go see?" Genis said.

At another corner…

"Zelos is cutting his hair? Is this possible?" Raine asked herself as she proceeded to watch the incredibly melodramatic scene.

Presea and Regal also, surprisingly, went to watch the scene because they too thought that it was impossible, or that the end of the world was coming, if Zelos was about to cut his prized treasure… HIS HAIR!

Everyone circled around Zelos and watched him hit the replay button on the stereo. The dramatic music started playing again.

"So that was where the music was coming from!" Lloyd said

"Of course you dumbass! You think music plays on its own?" Genis replied sarcastically.

"Genis you took after me with the 'wanting to swear at Lloyd' didn't you?" Raine asked, sighing.

"Of course!" Genis replied.

"Sorry my wonderful, perfect and manly hair. Sheena doesn't like me because of you! Goodbye, my treasure!" Zelos said again in a very dramatic tone.

All of a sudden Kratos appeared in a poof of smoke!! (XD Sorry, I just felt like making Kratos appear like that!)

"You think your hair is manly Zelos? Yours is just girly! Mine is manly." He said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"HAHAHA! Your hair isn't manly, but it at LEAST looks better than Zelos'!" Raine exclaimed sniggering.

"So mean!!" Zelos said.

Kratos then fainted.

"Daddy! NOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!" Lloyd screamed as a spotlight shone over him and Kratos.

He then got up, wiping a single tear from his eye.

"I promise that I'll make my hair twice as manly for the both of us!" Lloyd said.

"You thought your hair IS manly?" Genis said, laughing. He laughed so much that he was on the floor, rolling around, completely unable to contain himself.

Lloyd then fainted right beside his daddy.

"But I think your hair is wonderful, Lloyd!" Collette said, crying, but also trying to cheer him up. (XP Don't ask me! I told ya this was crack! I honestly don't know where she came from! _E/N: I'm guessing from the depths of the pit of MORNING PEOPLE! AHHHH!)_

Kratos and Lloyd stayed there, not moving, except for occasional twitching and spasms, if that actually counts.

"Hmmm… I think this is my job, right?" Raine said, bored. "RESURECCTION!"

She got up and examined them.

"I think they'll have spasms and mild twitching for a while… They did, after all, suffer mental shock." Raine explained.

"Well at least they are okay…" Regal said carefully.

"This is frightening…" Presea added.

Genis then proceeded to appear in a poof of smoke. (XD just like Kratos!)

He was wearing a lab coat stained with red liquid and carrying a sheaf of papers.

"I know what Zelos' problem is," he announced. Everyone leaned in to listen.

"Hey!" said Raine. "That's my lab coat!"

_To be continued…_

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Haha hope you enjoy it! R&R!


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